The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Always a fun feeling when you get to write a tagging tutorial use the following statement"



"Now you put the lime in the coconut...."



:D

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sahahria
03:15 May 30 2012

LOL! :)

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So recently there has been discussion in Seans family about Christmas.

The damn holiday is 7 months away, and it's being discussed...



It got brought up because Sean and I were looking at my finals scheduled for the fall semester.



This past fall semester, I was lucky and finals ended on the 15th. This allowed us to travel to Florida and be back in time for Christmas at his parents place. The -only- reason we came back for that is because his mother threw a fucking fit about it.



So why is there an issue now? My finals end on December 20th. That would give us...2 days in Florida and then we would have to be back for Christmas with his family. Sean and I had decided that we would just spend Christmas in Florida with my family.



Of course this didn't fly when they asked us our plans for going to Florida this year.

"Christmas is ALWAYS here. That is how it works. She isn't going to come into this family and change that."



You would think she could understand the fact that I do have a family...and they would like to have a Christmas dinner with me and Sean...Because that is how shit like this works.



So I mentioned the fact I was thinking of flying down in October to visit some friends when I have a 5 day weekend. The state has this giant "Educate Minnesota" weekend where all the schools/colleges getting state aid is closed for training. I planned on jetting down for the weekend to visit a couple of friends and to hit up Howl O Scream as a guest...



Guess Sean is going with me. LOL

The new plan is that we will go down in October together.

My mother is a bit upset that we won't be there for Christmas...but she seems excited to go to HOS with us. She is one sick woman...



Guess I've learned to roll with the punches.



I still think his mother is being a selfish bitch though.



Just sayin...

So as we were shopping last night, I saw a bottle of something that is close to mojo.



So we got it...and all the stuff to make cuban sammichs.



Best. idea. ever.



They were ghetto pressed (griddle with pan pushing down) but so tasty.



This may serve as a replacement until we get to Florida in October.



nomonomnomnom

Words to paper.



Or into a little input box on a website it seems in this case.



I've been thinking a lot the past few weeks about talents, more specifically, talents that come naturally.



During this past semester, I had the pleasure of working with two great people in Choir. One, a 17 year old guy who is a natural musician. The other, a 20 year old woman who is a brilliant artist. I always felt a little left out when it came to talent. I'm a good singer, but I worked myself up to that point. I didn't have a natural set of pipes like some people. Music is something I love and enjoy, but I got a subtle nudge from a teacher of mine. After randomly chatting with people, I started to see what he saw in me.



I got the compliment that I would be a great author. I never sat back and thought of myself as a natural writer. I always thought that I was just good at English because I enjoy reading.

Then something changed.

Some of us where chatting before Choir started one day about our essays for different classes. Everyone mentioned they had issues hitting the minimum word count on everything they had to write. I found it funny because I had already gone twice over the required word count, and wasn't finished writing my paper.



At that moment it hit me. My teacher was right, apparently I can write.



So I've made myself a summer goal. I want to keep writing and see where it takes me. Improve on my shitty punctuation, work on my word usage, and see if I can put something creative on paper (or in my computer).



This is one talent I have that I apparently overlooked. Something I've never "worked" at making better. I just did what came naturally when it came to writing. I never pushed, I just wrote.



So that is my plan. Not the greatest, and I'm sure some of you may not think this is smart, but I don't care.

Today was good.

I sang a solo in front of 1200 people.

I found out I got two(!) scholarships.

And I learned that the two bushes by my kitchen window are full of these beauties:







:)

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Seshat
04:40 May 18 2012

Congratulations!

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sahahria
17:07 May 21 2012

That is wonderful

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PhoenicianDream
06:29 May 28 2012

Those little flowers look like lantanas.



Congrats on the scholarships.

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POST COMMENT

So within my family, there has been some debate about religion.



To be more exact, my religion.



My new "aunt" who just got married into the family this past year has a major issue with my mother. It has turned into her being completely nasty to my mother and step-father and attempting to sabotage that relationship. When that didn't go very far, she turned to the next best thing she could think of, my brother and I.



She has blamed everything wrong/different on my mother and has been trying to cause more issues. Thankfully, she doesn't know where my brother is currently. If she did, it would be worse. He is currently in jail serving out the rest of his probation time for the drug charge he picked up last year. It was his choice to go in and just finish the time out there, he felt it would be safer and less of a chance for him to screw up. He has managed to get his GED while in there and will be released next month. Quite frankly, he made a good choice with this one.



Anyway, if this bitch found that information out, she would use it so bad against my mother. As of now, she has been blaming my mother for the stupidest shit. According to her, it's her fault I moved to Minnesota. It's her fault that I am not a practicing Catholic. It's her fault that I am overweight. And the best one! It's my mothers fault that I need therapy and mental health medication.



Some of those claims are so damn far-fetched it ain't even funny. As most of you guys know, I moved from Florida to Minnesota to be with Sean. My mother supported this choice because it gave me a new chance at life and tons of opportunities.



My weight gain has nothing to do with my mother. My mother made sure I ate right and decently when I lived with her. My current weight issue is a combination of a health issue (which I'm getting under control) and a lack of access to my favorite form of exercise. Things that are being taken care of.



My mental health. While I can't say my mother isn't to blame, I can say that it's not her fault. Bipolar Disorder runs in my family. Plain and simple. My mother and grandfather were blessed with it. I just drew shitty straws when it came to that. But when it all boils down, she is very supportive of me doing therapy (which I don't even need now!) and taking my meds.



Now, the one I have avoided is the religion aspect. Sean and I were both raised in the Catholic religion. So why do neither of us go to church?



Well as an adult, I made the choice to follow what I felt was fitting to my belief system. I'm an agnostic theist. What does that mean for those that don't know religion stuff? I believe there is a deity out there, but I don't claim it as a personal path or knowledge.



In short, there may be something out there, and that's fine and dandy, I just don't subscribe to it. Just ain't my thing.



As for Sean, he just doesn't have any interest in religion at all. *shrug* If religion actually comes up in discussion between us, it's normally me bitching about how Christianity keeps invading the government and how much bullshit it is. Country founded on fleeing religious persecution and they are attempting to mold the country into one religion...not cool, and pretty hypocritical. (little off topic there)



But according to this bitch, my mother is the reason I'm not Catholic and I'm going to hell because I don't go to church. She also feels that my political views will send me to hell. (stance on gay marriage/abortion/ect) And it's all my mothers fault.



I guess she is right. My mother taught me that I have this wonderful thing inside my skull, it's called a brain. I was taught to use it and make decisions that I felt was right, not what others told me was right.



At this point I'm just fed up with this woman and her attempting to sabotage my family.



Sorry if this feels like a whiny rant. I've been keeping this bottled up during the last few weeks.



I also want to tell this woman to stay the fuck out of my life and decisions. It's not her place to tell me what I should feel about anything. Nor to blame my mother for things that she has nothing to do with.



Plus, her boob job is lopsided. She needs to take them back or start actually wearing a bra.



*hmpf*

Ok the verdict is in!



I did something to my SI Joint and will start physical therapy this week.



I also had to pee in a cup. That one was my fault, I missed getting my depo shot by 10 days. I thought it was due this week, not last week....



So I had to pee in a cup to prove I wasn't knocked up.



That pregnancy test cost my insurance company 126 dollars.



You can get one of those at Walgreens for 5 bucks. o.o



Oi vey.



It feels good to know what exactly is wrong with my back, so I can work on treating it better.

Just to sound a bit sappy...and stupid.



I've decided to walk to the doctors. Only because it's 80 degrees outside and feels fantastic. No humidity, slight breeze. Gosh this is magical for me.



Should I walk given the reason I'm going?



Probably not. But it's a shame to waste a good day like this. :(



Off to the doctors I guess! Hopefully I'll have some good news.

Guess if ya'll want to use the super stalker function, you'll see I float around journals.



Yep. That's about it.



Sorry for the lack of fun. :(



Anyway!

Friday we went out for our anniversary. We were going to go see Dark Shadows, but because of my back, we passed on it. There was no way I was going to make it through a movie sitting in those seats.



Instead we went and did some shopping to get Mothers Day and birthday gifts. Sean got me a 20 dollar Wii point card as my present. I've been complaining about wanting to play old SNES games, so he hooked me up.



We shared an awesome lunch at Zimmys. For those unaware, Zimmys is owned by Bob Dylan. How does a tiny ass town in Minnesota get that honor?



It's his hometown. lol



So we had a nice lunch there and then he took me for the second part of my gift.



I finally got a library card for up here. :D



I nabbed a couple of books I've been wanting to read and an old favorite.



Yeah, I know the card was free, but it's still one of the best gifts I could have been given. :D



Saturday and today were less than stellar, but we made the best of it. It was mainly due to interactions with his family.



The plan for the rest of the night is to eat a nice tasty bowl of ice cream and read a bit more of my book.



Doctors appointment to start my summer off tomorrow.



Toodles :D

I'm alive and stuff.

In case someone was wondering.

Had finals and a lot of papers due this past week. My concert was last night and now I can't sleep. I figured I'd pop online and do something.



Not much going on except tons of stress. I'm honestly waiting on my meds to kick in so I can crash again.



Have to go into the doctors Monday for my back. I've tried almost everything under the sun and it has given me no help. It's been 3 weeks since I took that fall that caused whatever is wrong. The nurse agreed that with all that I've done so far, and having it not help, it's time to come in and get some tests done.



The stiffness comes and goes depending on the day, but the pain is constantly there. I've gone through a second bottle of Motrin and it hasn't worked at all. I've given up on using it, there is no real point. Plus getting in and out of the bed is hard. Getting into the chair in the livingroom isn't, but sitting there and trying to adjust or get out is near impossible.



Long story short. I'm in constant pain and I'm going to the doctor Monday. She wants to run some tests and see what we can do.



But I'm alive. Having trouble moving around and bending over. I'm also thankful we live in a handicap accessible apartment. Those handrails in the bathroom are helpful right now.

I think I've let this sink in long enough today without talking about it. I know I need to get it out of my system somehow, so here it goes.



This morning my mother called me to talk about the trip to New York. I was supposed to go on this trip as well, but because of my concert last week, I was unable to.



Part of the purpose of this trip was because my Aunt wanted to tell me and my mother something important, in person.



My aunt is HIV positive. Technically, she has dropped down into AIDS, but it's still hard for me to swallow and take in. She has known for the past year, but didn't want to break the news over the phone to either of us. That was why she suggested this trip. On top of that, my grandmother had surgery today. This news on top of my finals, concerts, and stress has pretty much pushed me to that breaking point. It has taken a lot of strength to make it through today without breaking down in front of people.



I'm going to take tomorrow and relax. Study for my test, work on my paper, and maybe play in Photoshop a bit. I don't want to tell my teacher because she may take the solo away in the interest of my stress level. I want to do that solo so bad, regardless of my stress right now. Singing helps distract me.



This has all just piled on top of my back problems, the stress, and everything else. I have managed to stress myself into getting my period, while on Depo. I haven't had my period in over a year so I was obviously unprepared for this.



Yeah..there it is. I'm not asking for pity or anything. I just needed to get it out of my own system. I find this journal to be an outlet for myself and my life. This is one of those times I needed it.

COMMENTS

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xRobin3x
06:53 May 02 2012

That would be something hard to take. I still send a hug to ya.

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Got some crappy news about my family this morning.



Not sure if I'm ready to talk about it, but I'm more upset now that I missed the trip to New York this past weekend. My reasons for missing it were pretty reasonable though. My first part of finals were the night I would have needed to leave.



Ugh. Don't know what to think about this. Was interesting trying to make it through the day with that information.